Archive | August 2014

Pre-surgery Class

So, on Wednesday (Aug. 20th), I had a full-morning, pre-surgery class to get ready for gastric bypass surgery. We were given a lot of information on the potential for emotional (addiction transfer) issues, pre- and post-surgery diet and supplements, potential costs, again pre- and post- surgery. I definitely felt a bit overwhelmed when I left.

I’m excited about the surgery but a little apprehensive too. I really believe the surgery will give me a second chance at life – to be in less pain, to be able to walk again and dance again! And, maybe even think about finding someone to love again. Loneliness is definitely becoming an issue for my mental health.

The apprehension mainly comes from a fear of looking worse (thin but very wrinkly and saggy) than I do now. I have decided to be as positive about this experience as ‘humanly’ possible.

I know it is important to honour the journey and let it unfold as it will. I also know that fear of what hasn’t even happened yet is pretty much a waste of energy. What I’m having the absolute hardest time with is…being patient! This has been a three year process for me and trying to be patient has been very, very difficult! Sometimes very close to plunging me into a deep depression with very strong thoughts about giving up. I’m glad I haven’t given in to that and that I continue to put one foot in front of the other.

I’m grateful for the people in my life that I can talk to.

I’m grateful for a job that I enjoy doing.

I’m grateful for my cat, Brandi, she takes the edge off the loneliness and depression.

NAMASTE

What I’m worried about…

Okay so here it goes…
1. How will I be able to rent a place here (at market prices) AND afford to keep my car?
2. Will I be able to get through all my stuff (keep, sell,give away) by the time the house goes on the market?
3. What if it takes longer than 2 weeks to heal from surgery (in Nov/Dec)?
4. How are Mom and I going to get the house in shape [read: Clean and organized],in time for it to be put on the market (considering how much pain we are both in MOST of the time and all the pain killers we already take to combat that pain!)
5. Will I have the strength, to make the changes necessary to live a different life after the surgery?

Okay. That’s it. Those are my top five worries.
And this s what I might say to B~ if I wanted to give her advice…
1. You will write a strict budget and stick to it…no matter what!
2. Plan for 2 hours per day to stort thru totes and boxes in the garage (or at least 1 hr/day M-F & 3.5 on Sat. & Sun.).
3. Then it does! AND YOU WILL take the time you need to recover – and if you are seriously lucky, your surgery will happen in the 2nd week of Dec.- so you will also have the shut-down time between Christmas and New Year’s Day and you won’t miss much of the project at work.
4. Okay so admit it! You are most worried that brother will expect MILITARY clean!
You will do the best you can and find a way to pay for the rest.
5. START NOW!

Moving Again!

So sad that I have to do this again! Iwas just getting things where I want them. And now…I get to pack it all up AGAIN so I can move out. I really thought I’d be here for awhile longer and really get to enjoy it now that so much has been done.
I really don’t want to live in an apartment building again and I can’t afford to find something similar to what I have now – so I really don’t know what I’m going to do.
It makes sense for mom to move into something more accessible but neither of us can afford the market rents.
I just heard that my son and his wife have to move in less than 60 days, which really sucks! I hope they find something nice.